Even when I was more social, there was still the anxiety, though that's not what it was called back then. It was called being shy. I was shy until I got to know people and hated walking into rooms even if I knew everyone there. It wasn't until my daughter was diagnosed with extreme social anxiety that I realised that I had it too.
Since that women's dinner last year, my social calendar has definitely blossomed (mostly due to the same woman that invited me out that night). She will invite me to lunch or dinner at a nearby restaurant/micro brewery, where we chat about our lives, watch hockey games and laugh a lot. But, this past weekend, I actually went to a girls dinner at another acquaintance/friend's house. I got this random invite on Facebook a few weeks ago. The inner shy girl screamed, "DON'T DO IT!!!!!!". The social butterfly wannabe had different ideas. Now, I knew this girl, but we aren't besties. We have attended the same weddings and stag & does. We are beyond acquaintances, in the fact that we hug, but not friends to the point that we have ever gone out together that did not include mutual friends.
Daily, I checked the Facebook event page, trying to see if the few people that I did know that were invited, were in fact attending. Only one was (and for the record, she ended up not coming because her car wouldn't start, so I did this all by myself! I'm so proud of me!). By the day before the party, I was in a pure state of panic. I was suddenly making excuses why I might not be able to go. ( I was cramping, the weather might not be good, etc). I stayed strong and refused to let myself off the hook. I knew that if I pushed myself to step out of my comfort zone, that the reward would be worth it. And it was.
I scheduled my time well that afternoon, dropping children off at their perspective friend's houses, picking up a bottle of wine and gassing up the car. The roads were busy and I started losing confidence, but once I was on the highway, I felt relief. My goal was to get there early enough that I wasn't stuck walking into a room full of people. And it worked! I was the second car there and the third guest. The hostess' husband was outside when I arrived, so I didn't even have the chance to worry once I got out of the car.
As for the party itself, what a blast! Put a bunch of women together and that is bound to happen. And better than that, it opened up the door for more fun, as I have invited the hostess and her hubby to come to our house for the evening. Just have to figure out a date....and what to serve....and who else to invite......whatevs, it will be amazing.