Friday, 12 March 2010

Confessions of a Former Social Butterfly

Perhaps I should rename my blog that. It seems quite fitting.

Well, I am happy to report that Project March Break Living Room Tent is a go! Boy2 and I spent the morning tidying, vacuuming, rearranging furniture and setting up the tent. Boy1 was thrilled to see it when he came home from school. It was a good Mommy Moment. Later this aft, we are going to attempt JMom's mac n' cheese again. It wasn't saucy enough last time. Well, I liked it, but the kiddies weren't overly thrilled. The boys are looking forward to cooking with Mommy again. They will make fine husbands some day!

I wonder if we will be in this house next year to set up the tent. I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. I do love my house, and know that it would be even better with a finished basement. But when I look out my front window and see pavement, it is kind of depressing. I know that once the flowers start to bloom, things will look better, but for some reason, this year, the proximity of all of my neighbours and the winter trouble with one set in particular, is making me almost claustrophobic.

I never wanted to raise my family in a townhome (not that there is anything wrong with that), but with housing prices so astronomical, I am truly grateful to own a home at all. I always pictured myself being a stay-at-home mom. I spent my childhood in daycare and always admired those children with moms at home. With a one salary income, I don't see us being able to move for a couple of years to a single family home in the neighbourhood.

I have obviously been mulling over the possibility of moving out of town! I have to admit that it is causing anxiety. I know that Kiki really wants to move now, but I worry that she is simply going through a phase and that after the move, she will regret being so far from the only friends she has ever known. There is something to be said for living in the same neighbourhood your whole childhood. Perhaps this is another reflection on my childhood. I had quite a few major moves. I envied those that had known each other forever. If we move away, I will be robbing my children of that opportunity. It is not a huge deal for Boys1 & 2, as Boy1 is only in Junior Kindergarten. Miss Hollywood will be more difficult, since she is so shy and at the end of this school year will have been with these friends for 3 years. That's half of her life!!! Miss A is such an outgoing child that she will make new friends and I have no doubt will keep the old ones too. Plus there is still the possibility that she would travel into the city with Terry and continue at the same school.

As for us, the adults, we have no social life here. I'm not sure when it happened..probably around the time that I started my pregnancy marathon, but we lost all semblance of a social life a long time ago. I LOVED my birthday party this year and vowed to keep having parties, but alas, that didn't happen. Quite frankly, I am afraid to make a peep with the Wicked Witch of the West living next door. Not to mention how anxiety/depression can make a gal not feel much like party planning.

For some reason the thought of moving away gives me hope that we will have that social life once again. Of course, Terry would be gone all of the time....hmmmm...

The real estate dude was super friendly and lives 2 doors down from the Dream Home. He seems like he would be a hoot to live beside. When my friend Liz lived in Rockland, east of Ottawa, it would take us an hour to visit her from our home in the West End, so I'm sure that we wouldn't seriously be leaving our true friends behind. It's not like we see them often anyway.
Also, the house has enough space that we could actually entertain. I get giddy thinking of the size of the house and the yard and the NO ATTACHED NEIGHBOUR thing.

I am slightly afraid of having to make new school friends. I have been associated with the younger ones' school for 10 years now. I would be the newbie mom if we moved out of town. What if people don't like me??!!

Moving would get rid of the stigma that has been thrust upon us since the wicked ones moved in next door. Those that know us, know that they are insane, but what about the other neighbours that don't know us that well, what must they think of us? I am embarrassed to think about it. I definitely like the idea of a fresh start.

On the phone this morning, my mom didn't seem too keen on us moving an hour away. She kept going on about how an hour drive each way is way too long for Terry, "escpecially at his age". The man is almost 49, not 80! Good Lord, what does that woman think? I'm not sure how much of this is concern for Terry and how much is disappointment because when I sent her the link, she automatically wanted to sell her house and move into MY Dream Home. The nerve!

This is all just speculation at this point. I am so excited to see the inside of the house on Sunday, that I can hardly concentrate on anything else. I suppose after the viewing, we will have some serious decisions to make.

Until then, I will continue to fantasize about what life could be like living in a small town.

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